My drawers

My drawers
Originally uploaded by rchach.

This has become my morning ritual:
Wake up.
Run to spare room to look at yarn.
Take shower.
Run back to spare room to look at yarn.
Get dressed, take Faye out.
Run back to spare room to look at yarn.
Pack lunch, feed Faye.
Run back to spare room to look one more time at yarn before leaving for work.

Its funny, but I keep peeking in my drawers to make sure the yarn is still there. Not that I think it would walk off, but that I am still in quite the denial I am writing a book. Its also funny to see this yarn and think that its half of the book. Its thrilling and nerve-racking all at the same time.

I keep wondering if this denial comes from not actually breaking open the yarn and winding it. Much like the blank page of writer's block. But I'm not blocked. I just keep thinking that this is all a dream and people aren't actually going to publish my work in my own little book. weird.

Maybe its because I'm busy?

I am finishing a sweater right now, that I swear the arms are taking twice as long as the whole body did to crochet. I think its because I'm having separation anxiety with the project. I have come to love the sweater and seriously, if I could wake up and become model size; I would find a way to keep this sweater for me. Its funny because its really not my kind of fiber, but it was won me over these last few days. Of course, this is with our normal schedule of full-time work (sometimes hanging from the side of a building, sometimes glued to a computer), cooking (but not cleaning- b/c really that never happens), and playing with Faye.

Maybe that's why I'm in denial. Maybe its deeper. Maybe I have just become obsessed. Who knows. All I know is that I really need to start waking up 30 minutes earlier for all this running I'm doing.